Parents' Concerns
Learning to let go of your kids

  Learning to let go... and why you should | How short or how long? Day or Residential? | My child has special needs | Safety at a summer camp

One Family's experience

Four years ago, Stephen Bartoloni was a camp-parent novice. As a child of immigrants, he had never been to camp himself; to go would have been outside his family's cultural traditions. But his only child, eight-year-old Olivia, had a passion for horses and wanted to go to a sleepover riding camp.

Stephen wanted to give his daughter the quintessential Canadian experience he never had himself, but it wasn't easy. He had to work through the same concerns of many first-time, and potential, camp parents.

"I was worried about safety and whether my child would be well taken care of. But meeting the camp operators inspired confidence in my wife and me that my daughter would be safe there. The people who are involved in camp, like schools—they're trained professionals. They know what they're doing. They know how to keep kids challenged and offer them a safe learning experience."

Olivia's parents visited the riding camp their daughter wanted to attend. The professionalism of the camp operators impressed them, and they felt they would be entrusting their daughter to caring, responsible and qualified adults. It was clear the camp carefully handpicked its counsellors and they were satisfied the staff were well trained in their areas of instruction. They found confidence in the camp operators' obvious dedication to the camp experience and their enthusiasm for sharing it with young campers.

"Parents need to go and see a camp for themselves and ask a lot of questions. I was particularly interested in how staff was hired. I also looked carefully as we toured the cabins. I figured if the small details were handled with care, then chances are the big things would be handled well."

Stephen said his own parents' fears about sending him to camp motivated him to try and overcome his own insecurities. As a child, he felt he was missing out on a worthwhile experience and he didn't want to deny his daughter that chance.

"My parents were very nervous to send their kid outside, let alone camp. I wanted my daughter to have the camp experience. I thought it would build self-confidence and independence."

Olivia had a wonderful time that first year and is now a veteran camper, staying for a month at a time. She has had four summers of adventures, gaining new skills, evolving socially and collecting memories, her father says. One summer, she had six cabin mates from all over the world—including Italy, Denmark and Mexico. Camp has given her experiences beyond what she would have gained in her protected urban home and school environment.

"She learned to make new friends and became more social. She gained confidence. Knowing how to get along with people and being flexible are very important for future success."

Just as Olivia gained from forging new relationships at camp and developing a sense of personal mastery, Stephen benefited from letting her go. As much as he cherishes family time with his child, he finds the weeks of separation strengthen their relationship.

While Olivia gains a sense of competence in navigating the nurturing environment of camp without her parents, Stephen gains perspective: sometimes being a caring parent means allowing children to discover and learn without you always at their heels to catch them.

"Being away from parents can be very valuable to a child. It's good for the parent, too, to let go a bit."