Last week I was lucky enough to be the parent volunteer with my 10 year old’s class trip to the “Children’s Peace Theatre”. They are doing a 3 week workshop there, with a performance for the parents in the fourth week. I was curious to see for myself what this program entailed.
(photo credit of www.peacetheatre.org)
We arrived at the ‘theatre’, located in the old Massey family farmhouse. The workshop room was covered with chart paper, with topics scribbled all over , varying from “what is peace”, “what is bullying”, “what makes me feel good/bad”, to mission statements the kids themselves came up with that would be their commitment to being “Peace Leaders”. We spent the day varying from small to large groups, doing various activities from team building to frank discussions on individual experiences with bullying.
This group is at a sensitive age, the age of dawning self awareness which comes along with embarrassment. But although I could see moments of shyness, the overall participation amazed me, especially the personal experiences shared by some of children. Bullying may still exist, but I think we have come a long way from when I was a child for kids to be so honest with one another about moments of weakness when usually kids only want to show one another how strong they are.
The focus was on the “Three C’s”, which are Courage, Compassion, and Creativity. I think compassion was perhaps the word that was missing in previous ‘anti-bullying’ or ‘peace’ discussions. It is an important word to focus on. My kids have had various experiences over the years with bullying in some form. I’ve always tried to tell them, that even though it is never ok for someone to make them feel bad or to hurt them, sometimes instead of being just angry, we need to think about what the life of the bully might be like to make them act the way they do. This is what “Children’s Peace Theatre” focuses on, along with Courage and Creativity, and as a result, teaches how to deal with the conflict in a constructive way.
Humanizing the beast does change things. (Think of the classic tale of “Beauty and Beast”, it is indeed a story with a moral!) Sometimes these beasts are just looking for a little compassion. A friend of mine is the lunch room supervisor at her daughter’s school, a position she just took on this past September. She told me recently about a little boy there, only in grade two, who is the ringleader of a whole group of “troublemakers”. This little boy happens to be in her group. Rather than peg him as ‘trouble’, she has taken the time to give him a bit of extra attention. This does not mean being nice to him all the time. Sometimes the extra attention is simply following through on discipline. Other times it’s taking the time to talk to him. Her taking the time to see him as something other than a ‘bully’ or ‘trouble’ has helped him see himself beyond those labels too.
This makes me reflect on the role we as adults have on creating peace. It’s easy to dismiss – either kids, or whole groups of people, or whole countries – as bullies or trouble makers or simply BAD. Our children are learning compassion, so it is important for us to learn and show it too. I think it is great that there is focus on the next generation becoming “Peace Leaders”. I think we parents need to reflect on what it means to be a “Peace Leader” ourselves, and especially as a “Peace Leader” for our children.
At this time of year, the word “Peace” is everywhere. In a way it is another word that has lost some of its meaning. “Peace, man” is as easy to say as “I love my morning coffee!” But what does it really mean? It too has many meanings, depending on culture, religion, and other factors. Wikipedia defines it as “(Peace) is commonly understood as the absence of hostility, or the existence of healthy or newly-healed interpersonal or international relationships, safety in matters of social or economic welfare, the acknowledgment of equality and fairness in political relationships and, in world matters”.
This is where compassion comes in – “the absence of hostility”. The “Children’s Peace Theatre” taught us that it’s in the little things we do, not always is it the bully. Sometimes how we deal with each other, whether our friends, family, co-workers or people we encounter in our day to day life. Rolling eyes, sighing, ignoring, yelling at someone – while we may not be bullies, chances are we have done one on those things in our recently dealing with people. Hostility is not absent in those actions, but compassion sure is.
May we all reflect on Peace at this time of year. And whether it’s thinking on the political/religious/global scale, or if it’s our children reflecting on bullies, I think we all need to also think about how we can bring peace on a small scale in our daily lives. When someone jostles you while your arms are full of bags of gifts, when your child asks to bake cookies while you still have a million other things to do, when your boss gives you one more task at the end of the day, when someone takes the parking spot you’ve been waiting for; these are the times to find peace, and to be a “Peace Leader”.
(Thank you to the “Children’s Peace Theatre” for reminding me of this, and giving me the opportunity to spread a little peace this holiday season.)
