During Mental Health Month, Our Kids Media is featuring a series of articles to raise awareness about depression, anxiety, suicide and other forms of mental illness — and how we can help save our children.
During some of my toughest moments, it was my guidance counsellor who helped me get through high school. Here is how schools can adapt some of these practices to give struggling students a hand in this difficult time in their lives.
- Be Available – My guidance counsellor knew that it’s impossible to predict when mental health difficulties are going to arise and that I couldn’t always wait for an appointment when I needed immediate help. She and I had an unspoken agreement that if she saw me waiting outside her office she would take me in before another student with a timetable problem, for example. This was a huge help to me because it made her office a safe haven that I could access whenever I needed it.
- Truly Understand Mental Illness – My guidance counsellor understood depression and could talk to me about it in layman’s terms. She knew that I was the expert of my own experience and let me tell her what I was feeling instead of her recalling symptoms she read about in university. As a result, I felt like I could truly confide in her and not have her be scared or overwhelmed about what I had to say.
- Respect the Student’s Privacy – After I turned 16 it was no longer the law in Ontario to notify my parents of my physical well-being. My guidance counsellor knew that I didn’t always want my parents to know what was going on for me and actually took me to the ER a few times herself when I was in crisis. If this does not fit with your school’s policy, make sure to inform the student ahead of time what the guidelines are. Give them a heads up before calling anyone else to the scene.
- Remember That School is Only School – I worked my a** off in high school and ended up on the honour roll. I could basically get into any university I wanted to but when the time came around for me to go to school I was still recovering from pushing myself so hard in high school. By the end of it, I had been too anxious to enter the cafeteria or mingle with friends at lunch, and my high level or perfectionism only added to my stress level. Especially if a student is suicidal, remember that school can be completed at any time in a person’s life and good grades shouldn’t be the focus when a student is in or approaching crisis. My guidance counsellor understood that completely and acted as a liaison between me and my teachers.
- Merge the Future and the Present - It’s a delicate balance to be optimistic about a struggling student’s future while making sure they feel validated in the here and now, but it is possible. At my lowest I couldn’t see past the week I was in; I felt that I wouldn’t survive that long. My guidance counsellor helped me to get through the day by asking about my pets and prompting me to talk about my favourite TV show. It was easier to focus on living till the next episode of Law and Order: SVU than thinking about high school ending years down the road. When a student isn’t in immediate crisis, however, it can be very beneficial to tell them to hang on until high school is over. Give them a calendar where they can mark all the days they’ve gotten through and can pull out when they need some courage to keep going.
[This article is written by Erin. Erin is a pug owner, aspiring writer and artist. She is a long-time volunteer, and now employee, of mindyourmind. Her blog posts appear regularly on mindyourmind.ca and mindyourmindpro.ca.]
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Do you have a story or advice to share to help others cope with mental illness? Post your thoughts in the Comments section below, or by emailing us.
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Having a figure such as a guidance counselor can make a huge impact for a student during such trying times. The adjustment for students during middle school and high school is very difficult for a lot of students, and sometimes parents and teachers can’t always be there. The guidance counselor kind of acts as the happy medium.