I realized it’s been quite awhile since of written. It was quite a fall, so far! Between back-to-school at a “new” school, plus a trip to Germany, my son’s 10th birthday, and a recent puppy, we have had a full plate!
This fall I also heard a new “buzz word” come up frequently – helicopter parents/parenting.
Of course I had to google it, and the definition is “a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions” (Wikipedia). I think that helicopter parents have, in some way, a connection to almost all of our fall events.
Back to school has been the most obvious. Now that my children are attending an alternative school that has been merged into another school, I certainly have seen helicopter parenting in action. I too have been super stressed as this is a transition for my boys, and of course I want to make it as smooth as possible.
But again, it comes to a certain point where you can’t micromanage your children’s lives. For them to know you are there to support them is important. They have to learn – to adapt to a new experience, to new people, to the world outside of the family. I think at an elementary school level, that is the most important experience a child can gain – socialization. Learning you are responsible for yourself and your actions is an important part of that, and an important part of growing up. If we as parents are constantly “helicopter-ing” about, don’t we run the risk of stunting that growth?
Which brings me to our trip to Germany. This is the third time I travelled to Germany with my children. The first time it was only with my oldest son, who at the time was 1.5 years old. I hate to admit, I brought a child-leash with me. Worse than that, I used it. Did he like it? Of course not! So in the end, (safety aside!) we didn’t use it, and we were both happier. I will never forget the heart stopping experience of watching my toddler chase on older boy onto a huge play structure, certain he was going to fall or get hurt. He didn’t.
One of the things my boys like best now about Germany? The playgrounds. Where ours have all become monotonous (it is essentially the same structure in almost every playground throughout Toronto) but safe, German playgrounds are the opposite. I personally have not encountered two alike, and they certainly are not “safe” (by our standards anyway).
But they sure are fun – to the point that not only my two boys, but myself, my husband, and my adult friends all were playing. Their favourite playground this time had what we affectionately called “the bridge of death” – but we couldn’t get enough of it! And, remarkably, no one was hurt – not in all of our romping on these “dangerous” playstructures, in various German cities, over two trips. (Nor did I witness any accidents.)
Children need to explore their limits, and the limits of their bodies, for healthy growth and development. At what cost are we making the world too safe for our children? When the playgrounds stop being fun anymore, I think that is when you find kids indoors with TV, computers and videogames. They need a reason to be outside.
We spent a lot of our German trip simply wandering from playground to playground. The boys didn’t even have time to send promised emails to the family back home, because we were too busy and then too tired to do so.
Our puppy is the most recent addition to our lives. We have been reading up on training. I think in every training manual, in order to avoid a “highly stressed and/or, anxious and/or, problem” dog, they need plenty of stimulation and exercise, to be fed, to be given an opportunity to use the washroom, and most important, loved and cuddled. I don’t think human children are really much different – that about sums it up.
Helicopter parenting in a way is a similar to leaving your puppy in the crate at all times if you aren’t around. Sure, he won’t have accidents, won’t get hurt, and can’t do things he isn’t supposed to do. But does a life without accidents, getting hurt, or getting in trouble equal a happy existence? I sure don’t think so!
Editor’s note: George Briggs advocates “messing around,” so kids aren’t over-scheduled and get free play time while Active Healthy Kids Canada has released a report card on physical activity, showing the benefits of physically active children.
