I was walking home last week from a school committee meeting, and thinking to myself with a smile “this is so NOT the person I envisioned myself being, when I was ‘young’ .” Bear in mind, that ‘young’ refers to various periods in my life. I think the first thing I wanted to be was a ballerina. Then a veterinarian, hopefully working in Africa, saving the animals on the endangered list. After that, a bohemian artist, with an old fashioned suitcase as the closest thing to home. I think had there been a vote when I graduated high school as least likely to have a family, house, car and all thing that come with “mainstream”, it would have been me.
And yet here I am, mainstream and happy. Really, really happy. And what’s more, happy to aid my children on their journies of self discovery, even if it means doing things I never saw myself doing, like being in a ‘mother’s group’, or joining a parent committee. I also have been dedicated to contributing to their RESP’s since they were mere babes, with no plans in their own minds as to what they wanted to be when they grew up. And I still contribute now, despite the fact that neither of their aspirations are the kind that require university educations. My oldest wants to be a rock star. My youngest, a police officer. (Now how is that for oil and water?)
I know my parents when I was growing up, and most parents for that matter, wouldn’t necessarily be supportive of an aspiration like “Rock Star”. I can’t say when I was holding that new baby in my arms, and dreaming of all the wonderful things his future would hold, I saw rock concerts and screaming girls. But I did see happiness. So if that is happiness to him, who am I to stand in the way?
Although “Rock Star” may bring to mind laziness with most people, I’m the equivalent of soccer or hockey mom. He has had strict guidelines of taking piano lessons for his foundation in music before moving on to another instrument. With that goes daily practice, weekly lessons, and finding dedication that comes from within. And for a few years now, he has, although grudgingly at times, stuck to his dream. And being a good “Rock-Mom”, I always endeavor to bring a crowd of fans to his piano recitals.
As for my younger son, the aspiring police man, well, there isn’t a lot we can do yet to foster his goals. Besides, his Grampie, a Police Officer himself, provides a great role model. I don’t think it gets better than that.
So what of this money I put aside every month? Whether it’s university or the school of life, they each have something to start them off. I don’t expect them to be any more clairvoyant than I was in figuring out who they will be than I was. In a lot of ways I’m still figuring out who I am. I think that’s one of the best gifts I can give them, the freedom not only to choose their path, but to alter their course.
