Interview with Royal St. George's College PARENT, Sydney Stoyan

For me, it was a very specific moment, a number of years ago. I was jogging in High Park, and all of a sudden, scores of these young men started streaming past me, wearing shirts with ‘RSGC Knights’ on the back. They were young, fast, and so cordial. They were so courteous as they flew past me, 'Sorry, ma'am. Sorry. Excuse me. Have a great run.' I thought, ‘I have to look up what RSGC Knights means.' So when I went home, I looked it up on the internet, and it's Royal St. George's College Knights, and their athletic association. They were out for the Terry Fox run. I was so impressed by the courtesy of these young men that I said to my older son, at the time in Grade 5, ‘Let's go and have a look at the school.’

From the moment I saw, during our tour of the school, how happy my son was responding to the energy on campus, I thought, 'We're going to give it a shot.' We were shown around by a young Georgian. He was candid, funny, and really open. We met a few teachers. We wandered around the campus. My son, who was in Grade 5 at the time, turned to me, as we were leaving, and said, 'Mom, I really want to go to this school.' I thought, 'Okay, that's it. We're looking into the application process.'

My younger son is currently in Grade 10. He’s got his group of friends that are interested in sports, academics, and music, and he's really thriving there. When we started, he was in Grade 4. By the end of his first week, he said to me, 'Mom, I want my sons to go here.' So he was off to the races. I would say for the younger kids, there's almost no transition.

I'm lucky to say, though my sons are very different, they both flourished at RSGC.

I did ask them, ‘What is your favorite thing about the school?’ And they both say the teachers. It's being connected to a teacher, having a conversation with a teacher. The teachers who care for them, who make attempts to reach out to them. It's teachers for both of them. And again, very different kids, but that was their number one answer.

It was a little harder for my older son to adjust, because he started in Grade 7. But he did end up being Head Prefect and Class Valedictorian last year. Something happened early on, where his music teacher noticed him, saw a little potential in him, and encouraged him. He told us, ‘If he practices hard, I'm going to move him up a band level.’ And something clicked for him. He focused, he started practicing, he met some other boys who were interested in music. Now, he plays jazz around Toronto.

I appreciate that the school is a happy place. Because it’s a warm environment, it allows the boys to feel confident and relaxed. When you drop off your kids, or when your kids take the TTC to school, there is always the Head of school and the teachers on the school driveway, with a smile. And it sets the tone. Yes, of course, it's a school, but laughter and happiness can also happen at school. That allows them to focus and excel, because there is that warm, convivial atmosphere that's apparent from the moment you step foot on the campus.

What surprised me was one of RSGC’s mottos, ‘Every boy will be known and loved,’ which I thought was a very brave and optimistic thing to say. And, in the end, I absolutely love that they stand by that motto. We live in a jaded, cynical age. And I think that RSGC has this notion that each boy will be known, and each boy will be loved. I think that is reassuring and it does a lot to redress the negativity that sometimes is floating about in the world. So I was surprised by this motto, but pleasantly and delightedly so.

If I had to use one word that encapsulated what RSGC stands for, it would be the expansiveness of the word 'community’— It exists on so many levels. There's community amongst the boys themselves, between the junior boys and the senior boys, parents and boys, and teachers. But, just as important, is the relationship that RSGC encourages between the school and the community that surrounds it. It's an urban school. It’s situated at Bloor and Bathurst. RSGC is very aware of Toronto’s share of socio-economic and social-justice problems. As a parent, I like the fact that outreach and community work are just part of its regular practice. What that helps translate for the kids is notions of gratitude that they're lucky to be in a place like RSGC. And, however much they can give back, it helps to redress the imbalances to some degree. That shows RSGC's values to me.

I don't know if there's a typical family at the school, but what unites the families is that we're trying to engender, within our own families, notions of courtesy, kindness, love, and respect. We want to see that replicated on the campus and in the classrooms. I think the typical RSGC family wants there to be harmony between what they practice at home and what the child is exposed to at school.

For my older son, the fact that he was the class valedictorian was just the pinnacle moment for him, the perfect way to end a really happy journey at RSGC.

When I asked my younger son for a proud moment, I thought he would talk about making the baseball team, or winning an award. But he told me about overcoming stage fright when he was in Grade 7. He was a runner-up in a public speaking contest, and he had to present his speech in front of the whole school–about 450 boys. When he started reciting it, he choked. It was a total stage fright. He couldn't finish. The head of the junior school came up to him afterwards and said, 'I want you to go home, take it easy, rest. I'd like you to come back tomorrow and do the speech again.’ And she said, 'I want you to have a chance to rewrite this experience.’ This is tough love, but it was so forward-thinking. He came back the next day, though he didn't want to, and he recited the speech. He did it well. He ended it up with quiet dignity and immense relief that it was done. All these years later, he says to me, ‘I'm proud that I did it.' That was a big shaping moment in his life.

I think most people go to RSGC for the teachers. They take great pride in their hires. Teachers almost never leave. They stay because they're happy working there. Teachers for inspiration, guidance, mentorship, all those things that we want for our children.

There are so many good things about the teachers, but the best thing I think about is they really like teaching. They really like teaching boys, because that's why they're at a boys' school. And they treat every parent as though they're dealing with parents for the first time. I think now about how hard that must be, because as new parents, we come in worried about our kids, and we have probably a common pot of concerns, but it's fresh to us. And the fact that the teachers keep that freshness and treat each parent as though they're dealing with these concerns for the first time, and they're unflagging in their care about all the many classes of kids that they go through, I've never failed to be impressed and grateful for that.

Excellence is encouraged, but not at the expense of support or kindness, and the fact that those can coexist really recommends the school. There is the potential for excellence at RSGC: academic excellence, sports, arts, music, to be pursued in a supportive environment. And it's important for those things not to be mutually exclusive.

The parent community is really great at RSGC. Our parent association is called the Georgian Parents Guild, which sounds a bit fancy, but it's just the parent association. Every parent is automatically a member. We do do some fundraising, but we also come together very regularly for social and cultural events, everything from hikes in the brickworks to film clubs to breakfast out on the town or whatever. And having a familial involvement at the school gives you the full experience.

The number one thing for interested families is to take a tour, because the ticket to your understanding of the school is getting to talk to the boys who go there. The boys are the real deal. You're going to see that those boys are happy to be at the school, and that's going to give you a real feeling for what the school is like. RSGC is many things. It's got integrity and compassion and principles. It's also a feeling. Like the Headmaster says, from the moment you step foot on the campus and you talk to a few boys and you talk to a few teachers, you're going to know whether or not it's the right place for you. And if it feels like it could be a home to you, then yes, then this is the place you want to be.