“Time Out” has become one of those dreaded phrases of parenting – especially in the toddler world. To use it, or not to use it, that is question. (Isn’t it?)
I would like to extend this phrase to older kids and their parents. As a mum of two boys, aged 9 and 6, I would love for someone to give me time out! Sounds crazy, I know, but it’s true! It seems our lives are forever in fast forward, as we move from one extracurricular activity to the next, to birthday parties, to social events and so on. Not to mention we are all now in the throes of planning our children’s summer – one season ahead of where we are.
It is tough to balance everyone’s interests and needs, and it really does come down to that. I need for my kids to go to summer camp; as they are not in daycare, this is the alternative to fill those weeks. I need them to take swimming lessons – it’s an issue of safety for me, knowing my kids can deal with water.
As for my kids, their interests over this past year have ranged from yoga, to sculpture, to piano, to floor hockey… and the next session is around the corner with interests yet unheard.
And I want for their interests to be heard!
I think it is great that they have been interested in such a wide variety of activities over their lifetime. They have gained a sense of independence and “who-they-are” that I admire. But I must confess, I find myself a little drained from the experience. Again, it’s the combination of getting them to their various activies, but also the planning required.
Does anyone else out there find themselves making calendars – daily – in their head? Or worse, calendars that exist 6 months or more in the future?
So this is where my picturesque idea of a “Time Out” comes in. You see, MY DAD has threatened us with one – insisting we just do TOO MUCH, ALL THE TIME! And on really busy days I can see it, the fantastical image of sun filled days, with nothing to do but enjoy the day, no planning required, no rushing around. But then reality sets in, and I hear in that daydream “mom, I’m bored!” and I can see myself looking for my agenda, thinking of what I need to prepare for next.
So maybe it’s a matter of thinking small, like limiting school year programs to two per week: one want, one need. Or perhaps keeping summer camp simple, so that instead of week after week of varied activities, we stick to one or two that are really appealing to both parents and kids. Maybe we don’t have to go to every birthday party; maybe it’s ok to decline social invitations.
With Spring around the corner, shouldn’t we all take a “Time Out” to smell the flowers?
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Love your blog Kris, there is a book called the “Hurried Child Syndrome” which basically says we are hurting our children by over-programming them. I too stick to one or two things per activity semester -tops… it is too much otherwise. This week on March Break we have been on the go, trying to do fun stuff… I think part of it is for us -the parents, because my son was really excited for a rainy day to just relax and do not much of anything… go figure… guess that will save me a few March Break bucks!
I agree 100%!
If we fill our children’s lives as well as our own with scheduled activities it leaves no room to just “be” … Balance is the key.
Enjoying time alone, utilizing our imaginations and expanding our attention spans, as well as leaving room for the joy of spontaneity … so important in this fast-paced world where true relaxation is quickly becoming a thing of the past.
What a great piece! Says it like it is. You almost have to scheme to get space on a calendar…turn off the phone, computer,blackberry,stay home or go the Island and just spend a day on a blanket, with a ball and a snack and just talk….